she was gazing into the future, riding on the jack of hearts.

so i was trying to figure out what i would regret less:

lock into a lease, deal later; or be decisive now and take time to adjust.

so i was swift. because you can’t always put things off (even if later is the perfect time for everything.)

and really, it seemed like a good idea. and maybe i’m a little excited.

and now i’m really afraid that maybe it will never, ever be ok again.

your glasses on the counter next to your brand of face wash, which will always always be yours for as long as i live, was too much for me on this particularly low friday. fuck friday, by the way. fuck the weekends.

but then there’s the dog.

and he’s licking his foot like a cat/moron.

and he’ll still be around to leave socks on the floor.

and to whine for no reason.

and to lick my feet while i’m shaving my legs in the bath, in the dark.

but i can’t say i won’t cry a lot.

and you know that’s really why i’m looking at apartments, still.

because maybe if i find you the perfect one, you’ll stay.

i have never lived in this town without you here.

it will be an entirely new challenge and

i kind of want to pass on the whole thing.

…i don’t like this at all.