09

Sep

“The learning process is something you can incite, literally incite, like a riot.”

sexual harassmentToday, Adam and I attended the second anual Seattle SlutWalk. He carried a sign that said “Men–Take Responsibility,” which was really great because, as a smart person pointed out, allies from within are a particularly powerful resource. Mine said “A Short Dress Is Not A Yes.” But what I really wanted it to say was

“I Get Talked To Every Goddamn Day By Strangers Who Make Me Uncomfortable And I Fucking Hate It.”

But that wasn’t as catchy.

My female (and female-identified) friends and I have been talking about this subject a lot lately. This blog post went (semi?) viral last week (at least, among our crowd, so I assume, among others as well), about the street-level sexual harassment that women and those identified as women (and sometimes men) endure.

Because, here’s the thing. It happens a lot. Here are a few things that have been said to me recently:

  • Hey, why aren’t you smiling?
  • What’re you reading? You look smart.
  • You’re really pretty.
  • Don’t be a snob, talk to me.
  • You think you’re too good to talk to me?
  • Where are you going all dressed up like that?
  • You got a boyfriend?

Or, my personal favorite:

  • NICE BOOBS! as shouted from a yellow school bus.

A fucking school bus. I got hollered at by a child on a school bus. That’s how ingrained this problem is. Even children know that yelling at women and disrespecting their bodies is a thing to do. And a thing for which, for the most part, women have little recourse.

Because what people (read: mostly men, but sometimes also women) who haven’t experienced this don’t understand is that most of the time, even when it’s not meant to be threatening, it feels that way. Because I am keenly aware that if I don’t smile and nod and be a nice person (because, I like to think, I am a nice person) and have a conversation, it can and will and does escalate. It is no longer marginally irritating and also kind of icky, it puts my body in physical danger.

I am also aware that no one will help me if that happens. Because it has happened. Does happen. Happens all the time.

Street level sexual harassment can be as simple as an unwanted compliment when I have earbuds in and clearly no desire to talk. It can be grabbing my arm (happens), trying to hold my hand (happens), following me (happens a lot), and, in some cases, it can be actual violent assault or rape.

The advice we get is usually something like “Don’t engage them,” or “walk away.” But what if you’re literally trapped on bus by a man who outweighs you by 100 pounds? What if you’re wearing heels that hurt and you physically can’t run? What it you are afraid that a person will follow you to your apartment and force their way?

What if you’re just a human being who wants to get from point A to point B without someone saying something to you because believe me, it gets really old to assume every single person who makes eye contact with you will have a comment to make about your appearance because it’s true?

So what I want to say is this:

Women, speak up. Tweet about it. Put it on Facebook. Take an Instagram photo of your harasser. Tell the driver. Ask a beat cop to walk with you for a little while. Call a friend. Tell someone. The fact that those who haven’t experienced this aren’t aware of its prevalence is a huge part of the problem. Tell someone. It’s not your fault, but staying silent won’t save you.

Men, be better. Here’s the thing about sexual harassment–it usually comes from men. Which means the same mouth that men eat with, kiss with, drink with, and breathe with can also the the mouth that they change sexual harassment with. Men have the option to either:

  1. Not sexually harass women. If a woman is on the bus, assume she’s there to travel somewhere. If a woman is at the store, assume she needs groceries. If a woman is at the bar, assume she’s there to drink unless she explicitly tells you otherwise. Assume that she is not there to talk to you, no matter how friendly you are. And male readers, if you start to mansplain to me about how this is wrong, go look in a mirror. Are you a man? Yes? Then don’t tell me that I’m wrong because I am not a man, I am just a woman who gets talked to/hit on/cat-called/harassed too much.
  2. Speak up when someone else is sexually harassing a woman. See a creep on a bus talking to a woman who is not into it? A guy at a bar who is trying to coerce a drunk woman to come up when she is clearly too inebriated to consent?  Step in. Male-to-male conversation on this topic is very salient. Be an ally. Like the government says: See something, say something.

This week (and maybe beyond), I’m going to Tweet every incidence of sexual harassment I encounter on the street/bus/wherever. I urge all of my friends to do the same. Because truly, like Aurdre Lorde said (that’s whose quote the title is, in case you didn’t take enough women’s/gender/racial/LGBTQ studies classes), it’s a learning process. We already know that this is wrong, but we’re learning how to end it.

Image: Mine, from last year’s SlutWalk

258 days ago Short URL 3 Comments

feminism/human rights

03

Jun

Jem and April: 80′s Cartoon Heroines Made Me Who I am

I am fairly convinced that today, I am a reporter and blogger with an interest in fashion, music, and female empowerment because my mother slept in. Here’s why:

My mom is not big on mornings. And not in the way that a lot of people are, where they grumble but they get up because they have to. No, this is a woman who sleeps until 1:30 PM routinely, when allowed, because she stays up until the sun rises. She just operates on that schedule. Which is fine. When we were kids, it meant we had a lot of time to ourselves in the morning, which was also fine. Kids, contrary to what a lot of people think, aren’t useless and don’t require constant supervision. At least, we didn’t.

We did, however, watch our Saturday morning cartoons. A lot of them. Which, in 1989-1993, contained a lot of messages. Adults were, it seems, keenly aware that kids who were watching cartoons at 8:30 on a Saturday morning were probably unsupervised and in need of some positive information. Similar to the “after-school special” or the “very special episode,” cartoons at the time often taught important life lessons. I learned how to tread water from GI Joe (and now you know, and knowing is half the battle). I also learned not to hide in an old refrigerator when you’re playing hide-and-go-seek.

But mostly what I learned was that ladies is pimps, too. But less directly than that. This is because, aside from GI Joe, the two main cartoons that we watched were the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles, which featured April O’Neil, Girl Reporter, and Jem.

April O’Neil, in her yellow jumpsuit, is always out to get the scoop. She’s also constantly under the thumb of her male boss (typical), but she doesn’t let it get her down–she just gets even. She can roll with the boys, eat pizza, and uncover crime waves. She has giant red hair and wears boots. She’s independent, with her own apartment, her own friends, and her own life. She’s a grown-ass woman.

Jem, on the other hand, is younger, but still awesome. She’s is deeply involved in her father’s recording business, as well as in running a safe haven for orphaned teenage girls, is flashy and smart and sassy. She’s fashionable, caring, and always has a plan. She doesn’t back down–not even to the Misfits. Her band of friends are diverse and talented. Yeah, she’s a total babe. And yes, her favorite color is pink. She even has a boyfriend. But is that making her meek and lame? No. It makes her awesome and able to embrace girly shit AND be powerful.

Here’s where both of these characters get really great, though: neither one, that I can recall, has a “breakdown episode.” They’re never “hysterical,” they never have a one-episode eating disorder, they never once have that shitty, stupid moment of introspection that so many female characters are given. Why? Because they’re not broken. They’re just who they are. April is a damn reporter, and Jem is a damn rockstar/teenager-saver/business woman who’s trying to save her dad’s company from a greedy douche. Jem has a SECRET IDENTITY**, and she still keeps it together.

The other reason that these sorts of empowering cartoons are awesome is because they are cartoons. No one is every going to Tweet a photo of April taking a bong toke. There will be no sex tape featuring Jem. They’re not getting work done, they don’t look “scary skinny,” there is no debate about whether or not they are pregnant. There is no extra-curricular way for the media to discredit these characters, because they don’t exist outside of the show. Unlike in most television, where the women who play the characters are expected to live flawlessly and look amazing and never change (unless they’re too fat), strong female cartoon characters are able to exist in a vacuum of awesome. Look at Christina Hendricks. Then look at April. Who gets to be awesome all the time, and who has to defend her red carpet outfit?

Moral of the story? TV needs more bitchin’, wide-hipped, impeccably-dressed, good-at-her-job cartoon ladies. So that the little girls who are watching unsupervised TV this weekend can be empowered, not entrenched in the idea that they’re not good enough.

**Confidential to Miley Cyrus: Jem did it first and better. I don’t even know why you’re trying, aside from the fact that you are now a millionaire. If I could, I’d give every one of your fans a copy of a Jem DVD so they could see what they’re missing.

722 days ago Short URL 2 Comments

fashion/feminism

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28

Feb

Michelle Obama is Not Fat

Ah, the office of the First Lady. She is to be poised and pretty, strong and reliable. She is a role model for the nation, and she is more than a figurehead. Each First Lady expected to choose a cause – usually social in nature – and raise awareness, do the footwork, and, apparently, bear the brunt of an insanely backwards backlash.

America, Michelle Obama wants you to be healthy. She wants you to eat more veggies and exercise more. I know. It’s horrible.

One Tweet I saw was so absurd I could hardly stand it: “Nancy Regan said say no to drugs. Laura Bush said say no to illiteracy. Michelle Obama says say no to hamburgers?!!”
No, she didn’t, really. She just told you to pry your trolling self away from the screen long enough to get healthy. And unfortunately, furious ignorance and right-wing lunacy don’t burn calories.

Arguments against Mrs. Obama’s attempts to get the nation moving are wide in variation. Some have even gone as far as to blame this campaign for an increase in pedestrian deaths. But most are just perturbed because they believe that she’s overstepping government bounds by advising on matters of health. One can only assume that they did not read The Jungle, do not intend to accept Medicare or Medicaid, and do not believe in the presence of the FDA, the CDC, or the Department of Health & Human Services. Additionally, I imagine that those who feel that the government ought not be involved in matters of health would also not mind if all drugs were decriminalized and if liquor was sold to anyone who could see over the counter and count the correct amount of change. Clearly, we live in a nanny state when the government is involved in our health.

But what is more ridiculous than polarizing the critical nature of health and the human body is the attack on Michelle Obama herself. It’s personal. It’s hurtful. It’s the lowest blow a media outlet or talking head can lob at a female. The emphasis is not on the fact that yes, many Americans do eat too much, and they do not move their bodies enough; the emphasis is on Mrs. Obama’s weight. It’s a cheap shot at best. And in light of Michelle Obama’s endless poise and class, it seems supremely tactless to target her personally. But the right is rarely praised for their tact.

However, all is not lost. Several key republicans have stepped up in defense of the Let’s Move campaign and of Michelle Obama herself. This is heartening news, and perhaps goes to show that there is still some modicum of sanity surrounding the issue.

If there is to be a debate about the Let’s Move campaign, or about the government’s role in the health of the nation’s children, that’s fine. If there are parties who want to make the fight against obesity (real obesity, too – the very unhealthy kind that comes from not eating a healthy, balanced diet and not exercising) a political issue, that’s fine, too. But I am not alone when I plead that we keep the dialogue respectful.

If you want to chew the fat, so to speak, you can have your piece. But stooping to the level of fat-shaming a woman who is a picture of health is pathetic, it cripples the argument, and it does nothing to heighten the debate.

817 days ago Short URL Comments

feminism/news

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10

Feb

Disrespectful Discourse: Fashion is an Industry, Treat it as Such

As Fashion Week ramps up in New York City, runways and hemlines are making their bi-annual resurgence into the headlines. During every Fashion Week, news organizations which generally tend to turn a blind eye to IP law, labor issues, and the general culture of the fashion industry cash in on the SEO potential, and scramble to find stories which can both make headlines and boost page counts. It happens every time, and every time, the disrespect that the industry is treated with is palpable. Or audible.

SPUN Sustainable Collective
Photo is mine, from SPUN Sustainable Collective, a Seattle-area shop owned by a women and stocked with clothing made by other women.

This morning, I heard yet another discussion (on the Marketplace Morning Report) where those involved in this (billion-dollar) industry were talked about like petty so-and-sos, and like children. Which isn’t surprising, I suppose, since fashion is still widely a female-powered industry, and naturally, none of the problems that plague the industry could possibly be important or of any consequence to the rest of the “real” world of business. And really, the topic is pretty important and has an impact on a lot of other industries; there’s a bill in Washington that would give copyright protection to designer’s work.

But this is insulting.

Here’s the direct quotation from Duke Law professor James Boyle, who feels that the “drama” of the case would be overwhelming:

The idea of federal judges or juries deciding whether or not they think something looks similar — can you imagine? The fashionistas will be rolling their eyes.

Oh no! Not those hysterical, emotional, hormonal fashionistas!!! Not in the COURT OF LAW!!!

As if.

I’m deeply entrenched in the idea that a feminist can be a beauty blogger, or into fashion, and I’m not alone. Feminists bat back and forth on this matter a lot. Because, you know, feminism just means you believe that women deserve to be treated equally and, at its core, has nothing to do with wearing lipstick or caring about what’s on the runway…unless it impacts the equal treatment of women.

Debates about whether or not the practices of the fashion industry are harmful to women are often from those who aren’t involved; that is to say, those who believe that models “represent a singular image of beauty” (they do not – models are often awkward, weird looking, and not considered that beautiful), that prizing women only for their looks is unfair (is it? because there are male models, too. So….equal) or that the runway model body promotes eating disorders (tough territory, though, as someone who has battled with disordered eating, I do believe it’s something you’re hard-wired for. Models may be used as “thinspo,” but they wouldn’t make someone who wasn’t pre-disposed cut a peanut into 16 pieces and eat each one with a fork) – they tend to only look at the obvious arguments.

The problems that are most often debated are, at face value, in contrast with feminism. But when you go deeper, and actually look to the industry mechanics, it looks more like this:

This fashion week, not one person asked if I was a secretary, or a girlfriend, or a groupie. I got asked what magazine I worked for, what blog I ran, if people could see my photography, if I was a model and what agency I was with, if I was a stylist, and if I was a writer. Nobody assumed I was there because I wanted someone to sign my breasts with a Sharpie. People assumed I was there because I was being paid by somebody. Being female (and a reasonably pretty one, inclined to express as reasonably feminine, wearing makeup, and 5” heels – don’t you know that makes me dumb?) didn’t automatically write me off as an accessory; people I encountered took me (reasonably) seriously, and assumed I was “doing something worthwhile.”

That’s from one of the smartest blog posts I’ve ever read on the issue. I suggest you go read it post-haste. And that sentiment? That’s what I think is missing from the discussion.

As the male-centric news media (it still is. Really. I promise. Even in public broadcasting, which I support like it’s going out of style) looks at stories about fashion (and the women involved in fashion) as silly little trinkets this Fashion Week, it’s important to be sensitive to the level of discourse. Just because it seems “silly,” the fact is that disrespect toward the fashion industry (which, you know, does deal with some pretty serious issues, like drug trafficking, IP law, job creation, immigration, etc) is disrespect to hundreds of thousands of professionals, entrepreneurs, artists, and thought-leaders.

Just because it’s about clothing doesn’t mean the discussion should be threadbare.

Oh, and if you want to read a bad-ass blog by a sweet lawyer about fashion law? Look no further - Staci will drop some knowledge.

835 days ago Short URL 5 Comments

fashion/feminism

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