Posts Tagged ‘art’

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you can try, you can try to climb away from this life.

June 13, 2008

i am not a poet. but i have, of late, been musing (chiefly on napkins, as well it should be) about poetry.

i’ve come up with this:

1.) one should never be a poet first. i think poetry must always be born out of the struggle to make time to write poems, and can never be achieved from having oodles of time to sit and deliberate.

2.) on that same thread, never sit down with the intention to write a poem. the blankness of a notebook staring back will instantly shock any real inspiration from your mind.

3.) an altered state of mind is beneficial, but not necessary, and should not be viewed as such. you can make poetry sober, but you don’t have to.

4.) trying to fit your mind inside fourteen lines, or nineteen syllables, or even words which arbitrarily end in allophones is like trying to use a cookie-cutter to make shape a puddle of juice. to get it to fit, it has to congeal. and jello is not the same as juice.

5.) playing tennis without a net works just fine for a lot of impoverished kids, mr. frost. sometimes, you have to make due. and the human mind is surprisingly poor. so write poems however they sound good to you.

6.) never be confident in your own poetry, because you can’t be sure it’s worthy. and there is not much that is sadder than someone presenting a poem steeped in pride, yet lacking in anything else.

7.) poetry and song are the same. these rules apply to lyrics, though not specifically to music.

8.) don’t even consider writing a poem about something you haven’t felt. you’ll be so transparent that your bones will freeze.

9.) on the other hand, limit yourself to the number of poems to be written about one emotion or encounter that you have felt. you can tap it dry, and then, it’s the same as falsifying in the first place.

10.) you may embellish, a little. it is poetry, after all.

in other news, yes i’ve got a new job.

yes, i’ve already been recognized for working there.

yes, i’m painfully lonely and i haven’t even moved out yet.

yes, i’m having an identity crisis.

xoxo me

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in a way, those things are more realer than any of us.

April 7, 2008

a few quick notes about a few little things:

  • there are a lot of silly people. but there are also a lot of rays of sunlight that break through and beam down and make my face feel warm.
  • visual art is healthy on  many fronts.
  • no one, i don’t think, is ever truly “sane” or “normal”- and anyone who says they are is lying.
  • my dog is a very warm and beautiful and salty-smelling little squirt.
  • my car is a tank.
  • my body is a conduit.
  • and i’m a conjunction.

xoxo me.

p.s. mom- yeah, you’re right. this blog is way fancy now. i kind of like it.

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i’ve come to wrap you up tight, ’til it’s time to break down.

March 25, 2008

from the pages of my paper journal

here is a list of things i don’t believe in:

binaries, the sole use of phonetics in teaching children, monotheism, monogamy, capitalism, the war on drugs, area 51, tax “relief”, alphabetical grades, busywork, bureacratics, war, the difficulty of citizenship exams, the concept of an “illegal” human being,  religion for the purposes of anything other than comfort, hell, heaven, the idea that “everyone has a purpose”, art within confines, lobbyists, middle-men in general, the punitive nature of the justice system and the resulting expectations of american citizens, pure communism, any kind of anarchy,  true selflessness, wastefulness, the criminalization of marijuana, the reduction of humans to dollar amounts, concrete thinking, true loves, best friends, great tragedies, prescriptive grammar, unlivable wages, doctors, western medicine in general, conservatism, the FCC, the DEA, the FDA, fur as fashion, the living conditions of livestock, a single truth, an honest retelling of a story, a non-biased history, the two-party system, the distribution of wealth, most mass-produced major label music, the unbearably unaffordable cost of higher education, required courses, the DCMA, the knowing production of unhealthy foods,  the nomenclature used to describe depression (mental disease) and mania (personality disorder),  the DSM,  privatized medicine,  “free trade” and the movement of espresso as an accessory and not an art form.

so stick that in your pipe and smoke it.

in other news…

you want my hands, heart and crown?

well, i’m an irish girl, so you damned well better believe i’ll deliver.

and if it’s not enough,

then maybe i’m not the problem.

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the curfew had been lifted and the gamblin’ wheel shut down

March 21, 2008

here are a few things that i know to be as true as anything has ever been:

1.) Bob Dylan is the greatest artist of all time. I base this on several rock-star factors. One, he was/kind of still is an incredibly sexy man. Two, he is a poet. And better than most actual poets, at that. Three, he has a beautiful voice. In an interesting kind of way.

2.) I’m very excited to see my brother!!! I might even have time to spend with him! And he gets to come to the KUGS, and we’re going to go eat sweet potato fries and drink mac+jack with zach (ha, that rhymed) at the ’shoe, and take my dog to the park, and lol and lol and lol. And yes, I’m also coming to Eugene, though it might be a one-night engagement. So we’ll see how that all goes.
3.) Barak Obama = thumbsup. anyone who says otherwise has no compassion and no conscious or is completely ignorant to the desperate situation this country/world is really in. and also doesn’t give two shits about their children, or grandchildren, or potential children or grand children. because even if you’re going to kick it in ten years, you made those kids come into the world, so you’d better fucking leave it in decent shape for them.

4.) i love to paint.

5.) i love KUGS.

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time to give it up; on a pick-it-up mission, kept it bitter

March 18, 2008

my fingers feel like tools that i use, outside of my actual self.

it’s strange how much control the mind can have over the body when it wants to.

i have paint ground into my nailbeds.

and words coming out of my eyeballs.

it’s kind of ridiculous how many things i can make.

their quality is debatable but

nonetheless

i am capable of creation.

not quite sure why god feels so special.

xoxo me

p.s. officially on spring break. essays: behind me. art project: donezo. now it’s just work by the bay and taking my dog on epic adventures through woods and water and narrow little suburban streets.

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and it came to me then that every plan is a tiny prayer to father time.

March 7, 2008

let’s get a few thing straight…

1.) melissa accurately described “crunchy.” It is a term of endearment. Nicer than “neo-hippie” or worse, “trustafarian.” if you wear birkenstocks with socks and a stylish raincoat, or eat Nancy’s yogurt most of the time, you’re probably pretty crunchy.

2.) spring break is the last week of march. the week before that is “finals” but, as i am an english major, i have no real finals. just essays and “projects.” So all i’ll be doing those last two weeks in march is working, playing with indiana and trying to beat the series cup in Mario Strikers with Zach and Lindsay. And probably bumming with Katy and Ellis and Keith. I have a fold-out couch *hint hint* and live in a pretty cute town *hint hint*.

3.) School is kind of a joke sometimes, but I’m also deeply in love with being a student. Today in post-modernism (joke) we talked about fetishes for an hour and a half (double joke.)however, in my semantics/discourse/lexography class (awesome), we discussed ideolects and dialects (super-awesome.)

I’ve developed a very big soft spot for grammar. I’m so enthused for my structure of english class next quarter. Diagramming sentences = loads of fun.

Is that gross?

In my time-warp class, we discussed the narcissim that is inherent to blogging. this is true. i choose to ignore this an continue to pump my “ideas” into the interweb. it’s just easier.

here are my top 5 bands this week:

1.) Thief

2.) The Helio Sequence

3.) Vampire Weekend

4.) Throw me the Statue

5.) Barton Carroll

today i have to assemble a package to send across the country.

i like the idea of it being transported hand-over-hand and eventually to the air and then finally to a cute little single belonging to a cute little girl.

xoxo hanna

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here’s a theory for you disregard….

February 25, 2008

capitalism is structured around the concept of a middle-man.

additionally, my new meds are making me really sweaty. all the time.

or maybe it is the caffeine i’m always all hopped up on.

this is possible.

xoxo me.

p.s. i have to stop painting only for myself. i have an armload of canvasses lounging around my living room like in-laws that have nowhere better to be, so they linger until you finally scoot them out with your casual rudeness.

only the paintings aren’t getting the hint. no matter how much i insult them.

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neck deep in contradiction in the gut of the beast

January 24, 2008

i am excited for-

-the blue scholars on saturday. i am fully prepared to hand over my senses and become immersed in epic words.
- Lonely, Dear. Their album is really lovely and I finally got it onto my computer.
-music in general.
-also, Post Harbor. Like Muse, but also like Explosions in the Skyl, but also like….early 90’s Kurt and Chris? Mostly, just beautiful.
-the greenness of everything.
-the greenness of me.
-the shrinking moon.
-my little indiana.

i’ve been writing like the price of ink is on the rise. it’s really been theraputic.
it’s keeping me out of a plunge. which i feel is immintent, but I keep rocking back on my heels, keeping my center of balance just low enough not to spill over into the sea.

everything is moderately mysterious theses days. and although everything is recycled, and nothing is truthfully new or different or novel, it all feels like the first.

the first full moon. the first deep frost. the first frozen puddle. the first crisp night. the first song. the first word.

people are dropping off from all around. i wonder what it means for anything to be permenent.
or meaningful, for that matter.

in my 16th century lit class, we were discussing Sir Wyatt the Elder, and his poetry, and how he continuously decided that he had wasted his time in the pursuit of love, that he had nothing to show for it, that he had squandered his youth.

but when you get down to it- what does it mean to waste? if something was learned, or a piece of art was borne or even an idea was formed, then wasn’t it purposeful, or at least meaningful? and really, what does it mean for something to “work out” if the end result is the big sleep anyway. I mean, how is there such a thing as a “fairy tale ending” when we all know that “happily ever after” is the same as “until they both died.”

the fact is this- our minutes of breath, of youth and of energy in motion in general are finite. and as long as you are interacting, loving, excersizing your ability to emote and feel and sense and touch and experience, then what does it mean for anything to be for naught?

alright, the point of it all is this- there is no such thing as a waste of time, as long as in the end you are a more evolved person. because everyone arrives at the same conclusion- it’s just who enjoys the trip there more.

so fucking love someone. alright?

and furthermore-

nothing in the world can be promised to any degree of certaintly except for that check, written out from fate, to be cashed when your time is up. you’re going to die and that’s all there is to be sure about.

so no, i can’t promise anything “forever.” i can’t even promise anything for tomorrow.
i can only say, right now, that i love you. whatever that means at the exact moment that you hear it, or read it, or even remember that i said it.

so i guess i made meaning. but it may only be meaningful right now, in this context.

but that’s another discussion entirely.