here are a few things are a funny, and a few that aren’t.
funny things:
1.) fine dining. here is a silly part of society.
the entire concept of the absolutely excessive treatment of food is kind of moronic. but i can value it as some people’s art form. however, the idea of going to an “upscale” establishment is a bit like going to church. you put on your sunday best to impress the other diners. but the difference is that in the restaurant world, the kids putting the stuff together are dirty-fingered ragamuffins like me, and non-english speaking twenty-year-olds named (really) Juan, Manuel, Wilmer and Raul. my stained apron, my use of the vernacular, and my ways of making things more efficient are only incorrect because they aren’t stylized in the way that some rumpled geriatrics think they should be. come on, old people. i’m paying for your social security, while you’re leaving me change and sticky butter-pat papers face-down on the table. besides, your time is up anyway.
why complicate everything with formalities that you, or someone like you, have constructed?
2.) My coworker’s attitudes towards me. everyone that i work with thinks i’m an absolutely ghettotrash idiot. and granted, i am not the most eloquent speaker. i stutter sometimes, i stammer frequently, and i invert words within a sentence like syntax is just a set of vague guidelines.
but in reality, i’m almost done with my college degree.
which none of them have.
and i never say things like “supposabley.”
and i don’t pluralize with an apostrophe. (“egg’s,” por exemplo)
and i can spell “apostrophe”
and i speak several languages.
and i’m literate.
sigh. maybe someday i’ll drop a knowledge bomb on them.
or continue to contain my laughter every time they end a sentence with “at.”
suckers.
now here are some not funny things:
a.) that thing that you think is funny and how it makes me feel. and how i never thought it was funny when you felt like this.
b.) the future in general. i feel really, really constricted by everything and terrified by how that makes the exact present seem less valuable. it’s like watching a storm coming, but knowing that even if you get into the cellar, you can’t be saved. so you just stand watching the twister coming, mouth ajar, marvelling at the force of it all.
which brings me to….
c.) mayanmar/burma and the cyclone/hurricane that hit them. and while tools in team-related t-shirts are tipping back coronas and taking tequilla shots with straw sombreros on, there are 10,000 fewer people in the world, which puts at least ten times that many people in absolutely soul crushing pain. and we could not care less until sheryl crow and oprah go over there to save the natives with coloring books and makeovers.
in conclusion-
i’m a little conflicted. because in some ways, yeah, i see the irony in everything. and i see when things don’t make sense in a silly kind of way.
the difference between comedy and tragedy is that in comedy, no one is taking themselves seriously- no one ever gets actually hurt or truthfully angry.
and some things are like that. jobs, busywork and kids in class who use the phrase “in so far as” literally every single class period for an entire quarter. has not missed a day yet.
and some people are in more pain than i could ever imagine right now. however, i do not think this makes my feelings any less valid.
i’m hurting. and just because it’s not as much as other people, or even as much as you think you’re hurting, does not make it incorrect. or able to be “gotten over.”
that’s part of that whole “mental disease” thing.
and that whole “being a human” thing.
xoxo me
