listen to this interview with Sherman “Spread Too Thin” Alexie:
http://www.kuow.org/program.php?id=18538
then, watch this amazing video about diabeetus:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3R7tSSN2fHc
then, go back to KUOW.org and pledge your support:
www.kuow.org
then, peep this photo and get your daily dose of Indi (photo courtesy of Adam, as usual):
over+out.
Dear Fifteen-Year-Old-Hanna,
Job in radio. (check.)
Studio in Metropolitan Center. (check.)
Dog. (check.)
It’ll all happen for you. I promise.
Love,
Twenty-Two-Year-Old-Hanna
this was a much better easter than the last.
less exhausting, more full of love and acceptance.
more full of family. not mine, but family nonetheless.
and i like your family. a lot.
surrogate families are important to the displaced.
i’ve been gathering them for years.
they’ve recently made their presence known with kind thoughts and welcome gifts since i graduated.
i appreciate each and every one.
and i appreciate you.
and everything about you.
and even though i can’t always have everyone close to me at once,
and frequently have to have those around that i wish were not,
my life is very beautiful.
the sprouts on my lilac tree in the afternoon when i wake up with wine and a smoke,
the sound my typewriter makes when i copy down particularly lovely text messages,
the smell of my tiny dog after he’s been sleeping quite soundly,
the way it feels to wake up in good company,
the sunlight, but moreso, the darkness.
or that time just before the darkness, when it’s still light, but you know that night is encroaching.
sunrises over the church on the next block,
(much as i am growing to dislike the rising sun in general.)
the future.
progress.
blind and blatant and over-used optimism.
the use of lighters.
reading short stories on the porch and drinking porter.
hiding in the corner of the darkest bar in town and drinking porter.
standing in the kitchen in my cartoon underpants drinking porter.
stolen internet.
sewing.
vinyl.
____________________________________
yes, my life is fine.
i’m still alive.
my friends are nice.
my house is my haven.
my dog is more popular than i am.
sleep is rare.
the world is cold, in most ways.
but my furnace is fixed.
marriage is ridiculous.
commitment is impossible, but everyone should get a running shot.
i love my job.
and i miss my family.
and will get to see them soon.
<3 me.
life looks a lot like this lately.
that’s kyler and i on halloween.
she was audry,i was belle. yes, that’s pikachu behind us.
and we’re at a bar.
we drank wine and played with the dog before we went out…
so those are the good parts.
plus: this is post 100.
minus: living alone is alone-some.
plus: triple-digit cash money in my pocket every night.
minus: exhaustion.
plus: lovely weather, lovely city.
minus: no one to go play in it with.
plus: a lot of familiar niceties in the workplace on the daily.
minus: social anxiety keeps it at that.
plus: beautiful sunshine dog here.
minus: beautiful sunshine boy there.
plus: the end of school is in sight.
minus: i won’t, i feel, have anyone in town to celebrate with when it comes.
my self-imposed status as a hermit is catching up to me, as i come to mildly dread nights off, because they mean nights i will spend at home, alone, with no one to call except someone who can’t come.
i am homesick for something that no longer exists, as it now resides in too many cities.
BOO, EMO KID.
xoxo me.
a peek for everyone, because i’m trying to be positive.
and because everything you fill a new house with has lived somewhere else before.
and because you can’t spell “cartography” without “art.”
and because i’m not the only one moving.
and because everything, even beds with ladders, come full-circle.
still moving. last night was really strange. we stayed in my new yellow studio.
all of our furniture is in a storage unit fifty miles away.
and our old apartment empty, except for the all the little debris that’s left after a storm blows through.
we’ve spent the day sorting through the damage, drinking beer and wondering where the rest of our life went.
but tonight we both have to go back to work so i guess life will be the same there as it always was.
wish us luck.
xoxo hanna
(and zach and indi)
here are a few great things:
-indiana.
-interpol.
-wheat thins. (esp. when you can stand in front of your refrigerator with a box of wheat thins tucked under your arm and systematically go through the condiments and other assorted fridge fare and dip them in anything you notice.)
-family.
-specifically, my family. more specifically, my hero/grandfather. what a fucking man. DAMN. he is, i believe, mostly responsible for any awesomeness that i bear. or any of us, really. him and my own father. Mom, we got real lucky for a family full of hard-luck white-trash/ immigrants and others searching for political/religious/linguistic asylum.
-public radio.
-making friends.
-having a job that makes me not really care if it’s a work day or not, because i know it will be funny either way.
-bourbon.
-beer.
xoxox
oh wait, though. really. let’s take a pause and again ask myself:
what actually would make me happy?
and don’t say family, because that’s a given.
and don’t say Indi, because that’s one, too.
i must:
continue to know that exactly who i am is who i am supposed to be. and that’s good enough.
continue to not settle for the lesser, lazier, more selfish parts, and aspire to do right by those around me.
continue to take care of those around me.
remain invested in this quarter until it’s actually over.
work, no matter how much i hate it.
save money, no matter how much i hate it.
participate in the system, no matter how much i hate it.
speak honestly and demand the same of others.
do what i’m good at.
continue to attempt to quell my outrageous jealous streak.
and admit that there are some things that will never, never, never be me.
and maybe i wouldn’t want them to be me, anyway.
__________________________________________
i never thought i’d look to something i’d heard from pat avery, but….
above all, i have to continue to live truthfully within the given circumstances.
<3 see you all on sunday.
